-negative thought-

Wake up in the morning and I hve to hear some theory bout the negativenesss (is that word exist??) Well I've had fun thin month but hearing such a negative thought makes me wanna shouted n said come ooooonnn dude.. What's going on wit u!?! Life isn't and never gonna be easy but we hve to look in positive ways, at least.. Gosh I just really need time to relax... I'm waiting for end of july huaaaaaa... Oh and I hope my brain, mind, and soul won't be contaminated with such a bad thinking way....

~am i guilty?!~

Hello,

been through a lot this month... yeap.... i feel like i'm in a new chapter of my life or is it just a prologue? and i hven't even started anything..... :)

I've been looking into myself.. deeply... there is a bitch complaining about the way i am... and one of my fren said that perhaps if she too much complaining i hve to look back to myself am i losing my control or did wrong, is she said a truth or just a bluff???.... thanks to my fren... cos i've been thinking a lot... and maybe i'm a lil bit of losing my control.... but i'm just a human... trying to be a better person....
but then.... i just can't forgive the way the bitch treat me.... i'll prove it that i can improve a lot better..
we'll seee just seeeeee HUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH phewwww

nobody likes to be complained rite? even if we're truly wrong LOL... yeap... I'm just expressing the way i am.. but accept a complain from someone that has more more more more mistakes than me.. can i????? i'm sad, angry, but yet try to think..... can't i just make mistakes and fix it later?
just don't answer it.... :)

~i miss you~

It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I've been needin you
(Said I'm needin you)
Wantin you
Wonderin if you're the same and
Who's been with youIs your heart still mine
(Is your heart still mine)

I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
Off to college
Yes you went away
Straight from highschool
You up and left me
We were close friends also lovers
Did everything for one another
Now you're gone
And I'm lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow

[Bridge]
Come back to me(to me)
Can you hear me (callin)
Hear me callin (for you) for youcuz it's

[Chorus]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do Said I've been needin you
Ooh...Ooh
Wantin you
Wonderin if you're the same and
Who's been with you
Is your heart still mine
(Is your heart still mine)
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
Now I'm sittin here
Thinkin bout you
And the days we used to share
It's drivin me crazy I don't know what to do
I'm just wonderin if you still care
And I don't want to let you knowthat it's killin me
I know you got another life
And gotta concentrate baby


>>>>>>. for someone out there who missed someone.... <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

~Balance LIfe~

~opening theme song... supermassive blackhole:MUSE~

Wow... i can say this week is a really meaningfull week for me... people said that life's round like a circle... this week that happen to me.. i've been up and down but that makes me realize that i have colourful life like everyone else and my life ain't dull...... the best part is this week start with sad things and ended with happy things........... BUT (there's always but for everything isn't it....)

for those who read my previous diary... could notice that i'm a kind of person that hard to appreciate my life... not because i life in a hard position but i've been hard on myself.... for the pressure i had. okay sooo... the BUT is...

This happy feeling that i had.. is not a fair, true, or a right thing that i supposed to do.... maybe...
but the guilty n the pleasure.... is the best thing that i've ever felt since the last time i have it....and i think i still can manage that.. hope this is just my way to find the meaning of my life... i'm searching, hunting, and trying to be a better person.... I believe i will

We never know if we doing any mistake before we've done it...
Never trying something that you can do is the biggest mistake u'll done in ur life..... :)
for those bad or good is not our power to judge it.....
Peace ^_^

~~~many many thanks to someone who hold my secret ~~~~~~~~ luv ya X.O.X.O

Ouch how I want this

Whew...
I really want this thing... I don't know why
I'm on my shop diet.. More exactly is parfume shopping diet... So far I can manage my wanted... But then.. Some evil bring this things and I..... Crushed lol
I guess I'm gonna buy it... If I'm not forgot lol... I like pretty things and this one so pretty

Weird feelings

Wow... these past 4 days been busy for me....
i hve to deal with my sis disease and my work...
my students hve exam and i have to prepare the practice for them..
can't sleep well of course. and I hve a lil fever here
so then.. my problem is ... I have a very super sensitive things with one of parent...
i dunno what did i do wrong.. but she seems avoid me..... but then i don't want to think about it
n it;s happen 2nd time.. and i still gonna hve to meet about 6 more times this month..
that means.... i have to say shit everytime i go there..... :)

never mind... i've been hard to myself lately... things happen so fast and i change myself, i denied a couple things i love to do and not so idealist anymore.. if i were a 'matter' i will be in gas state now.... and long time ago i was in solid state....
how come that happen... sometimes i missed myself back then when i'm in high school.. i have faith, i have fun, i have events too.... now.... older enough to understand a couple things in life.. only makes everything gone bad... i closed my treasure box and stop playing with my dream :(
sad isn't it... some ppl never want to admit that they life in the shadow... and sometimes all the success ppl live in their dream to.. they see world as a happy beautifull place.. but me... i see this.. as a big mess.. chaos... just wait to see when something will crash one click...

yeah.... sounds crap?!? the one who thinks this is a crap... they have crappier thought than this world already has.... u knowwww.... just admit it... it;s hard to see things go to an end when u haven't get anything done... but what's done? nobody know.... yeah nor u nor me......

superstitious

woah... it's been the 2nd day.. since my lil sister in hospital.... and for a thousand times i'll repeat it that I hate hospital....
I'm in a good condition when i enter that room.. and this morning i came home with a lil bit heat on my body.... and i can't take care my sister now... zzzz really miss her...
Okay the reason about why i hate hospital so much is because a "fairytale" that my mom ever told me... LOL.. actually it's a ghost story about how many times she saw 'things' in hospital.. and it came in a Nurse shape... geeeezz.. so for a long nite, i was awake... wondering if the nurse that came to check my sis is a person or a 'beeeeeeep' and here i am laying on my own bed typing in my blog.. that hopefully my sister will get well sooon ....

i miss u my cutie lil sister that sometimes annoyed me with her own jokes... love ya.......