sorry for everything

i don't know what's going on.. i just need to say sorry to everyone... i feel like i've been doing so much mistakes... and keep on doing it....

for all the ppl there who knows me well and start to know me.. sorry for everything, for every word that i've said, things that i've done, i hope in the next and new me... i can be a better person...

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another heart feelin

Am i in my way of destructing myself...

Lately i never can control myself, i don't know what i want or what i feel, i've been searching everywhere, talkin to every people.... once i laugh i'll forget what makes me sad.... but then those nitemare keep comin back to me... i don't know how to start trustin people i guess... or maybe for whole mylife i'll never trust anyone... 

Most people will connect me to the religion to find a peace for my soul.. my life is like pieces of puzzle that shattered everywhere... and i don't know how to start build it , where is the first piece that will connect to another piece that will make a complete picture of my life... For all this time i think i don't hve any piece that connect to other piece....  and after all this time i blame the religion that makes my life this complicated.... eveni do understand completely that Life is just a journey that i should walk in.. so simple just like we eat, breath, smile, or cryin... but why every people making it so hard to do! 

I should enjoy my life isn't it? SHOULD! but i can't every single moment that i passed it, just bring another problems...... it keeps comin back to me.. why why why why.... no one can answer it.. i'm not that kind of moaning person.... but with too much complaint.. just make me want to throw it back to the ppl who puke that complaint! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa can i give someone love that i never had it for all my life?.......................... 

-i'm cryin from the deepest soul of my heart-