why me

What was her mind when she had me inside?
What was his mind when she had me inside?
I guess i'll never know what the answer.
I'm not and will never ready for the truth
Sometimes things are better left unknown
Even something can't be easily forgotten.

Is she sad? Is he regret?
No contacts allowed is that a deal?
I always in this grey area. And this bomb inside my head is easily start ticking with only one word. I can't hate myself because i just can hold on to myself. No one can help me. But I still wish somehow there's someone there who can lift me up from this burden forever, from the darkness i face, from the coldness in the bottom i felt. I do really wish. "Believe in something small" I do.

How can i see my soul, when there is nothing i can see. this blindfold is covering me since the beginning i open my eyes. Or when i arrived in this body. i do need some courage to go. i do need to find the clue, but how?

I have 2 choice , find the truth or let it be the past and i will write my own version in my head like i want to, the way i can handle it.

Are you there?
Are you sick or health?
I'm sorry i can't forgive you
No matter what reason you have
No matter what condition you struggle
No matter what you've been going through
I wish you know that I blame you for all of my life!

why me? not her? not him?
why me!