Hello.... There...
A bunch of things happens so fast in just a year or so. I still remembered dating days just happened yesterday. Now I am a mother. First-year of marriage is hard. Sometimes we still act like a young couple but other times so many matters that we need to handle. Marriage is never an easy task! I'm not saying it's not enjoyable, fun, or exciting... Believe me, marriage is far far away from the fairytale. That's why Disney rarely made the princess after marriage stories.
I had 4 months of married life before I was preggy.. Being pregnant means more responsibility. I have to eat wisely and takin care of my body. Sometimes I have to deal with the fucked up hormone that played inside. The best part is I got so much attention from colleagues, friends, and family (except for someone). They all showered me with love n encouragement and 9 mths is just a click.
Now the hardest part is takin care a newborn....BELIEVE ME it's so stressful and challenging every single second. You may never know what comes next. For the single parent out there, I give my high salute for your strength. Me myself I'm not a strong woman. I tend to cry when something is not expected to happen. I have no idea whether this is a baby blues syndrome or any other mental illness. But then, in the middle of baby napping time.. I have tons of questions that keep on lingering inside my brAin.....
Am I supposed to be a mother?
Will I be a good mother?
Do I regret?
What kind of life without kids?
How am I supposed to do?
And so on.........
But then I couldn't answer that. Between my sleep time and my uptime, I have to admit that my judgment and thought sometimes irrational.... I have an imbalance hormone that playing trick inside.
I just wish I could see the bright future at the end of this.... That's all I need for now
Thursday, September 10, 2015
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